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:iconc0mplex-simplicity: More from c0mpleX-simplicitY


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April 27, 2012
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I built this nest of straw and hay
twig by twig, day by day
so that my doves don't wander astray
but happiness is always an arms length away
for a child who never cared to pray
yet still I strain for ecstasy
I save my doves for a single jay
carrying them to her on this joyous day
the forest holds vivid hues of may
I long for jays smile, her bright sun ray
but soon the wolfs begin to bay
their short fur, bloodied and grey
I will not let my doves die today
I will not lose her priceless cachet
my steps comes faster as I run away
the wolfs gives chase my doves their prey
I crash through the foliage in this deadly relay
but fangs find my leg now here I lay
my fragile doves spill unto the clay
the blood of doves begins to spray
turning nearby violets to a crimson bouquet
a truly beautiful yet macabre display
my only doves embrace dismay
their tiny wings left to fray
their delicate bodies to decay
words cannot begin to portray
how my heart broke this day
my doves were yours, forgive me jay

Please read original poem in discription before commenting.
please read the original poem

Macbre Doves ~unedited~
I built this nest of straw and hay
Twig by twig, day by day
But happiness is always an arms length away
For those who've never cared to pray
Yet still I strain for ecstasy
I save my doves for a single jay
But soon the wolfs begin to bay
Their short fur, bloody and grey
But my doves will not die today
My steps comes faster as I run away
The wolfs gives chase my doves their prey
Fangs find my leg now here I lay
I fall onto my knees and into the clay
As the blood of doves begins to spray
My only doves embrace dismay
Their tiny wings left to fray
Their delicate bodies to decay
Forgive my love, forgive me jay

I tried to tell more of a story in this final version whereas the original was just an emotional catharsis for me. I changed the ending line as well which I intended to be the coup de tate (pardon my utter butchery of the french language.) does anyone mind that I stretched the pronouciation of certain words to fit the rhyming scheme? this will be my first submission to the group "the Written Revoloution" (I would put the Icon but I dont know how to do that. damn you technology)
if anyone has a problem with the violence just drop a comment below and Ill slap mature tag on this poems face.
~my critique of the poem "53 days" by :iconslyfry:~
(_^ [link] ^_)
:iconjqotd:
JqotD Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2012  Student General Artist
....Its even more amazing and sad now :iconrlytearplz:
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:iconc0mplex-simplicity:
c0mpleX-simplicitY Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2012  Student General Artist
:D that's what I was striving for thank you
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